Choosing Life

When asked why she would carry a baby to term that she knew would not survive when she could just terminate her pregnancy at 20 weeks, her answer was,
"Because he's our son."

Could you say the same?
When most people were picking out nursery furniture and attending child birth classes, she was selecting an infant casket and had appointments at the funeral home.

Almost

After an ALMOST full night of sleep, I feel ready to conquer the world!

What is that you say? You need help coming up with the terms of a peace treaty, I'll be right there!

But instead, I'm sitting in my living room watching Spirit (a kid's movie) for the 3rd time today, smelling  the smells of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as my kids happily eat their lunch.

[insert frustrated scream]

Last night was a REALLY rough night which came to a tidal wave of frustration after nights upon nights of not getting good sleep.

My son. My dear son whom I want to strangle I love so much. My dear son who takes great naps, smiles all the time and laughs and enjoys life to the fullest.
This dear, sweet son of mine after midnight LOSES HIS MIND!
I am so frustrated!

Wordless Wednesday

Shiloh's Birthday Fun

Just wanted to do a quick blog for those of you not on Facebook to show some pictures of my cute little baby boy who turned 1 on the 21st.

Goodness I love this little man. He's my joy.

Destiny...

Have you ever walked in a room and been overwhelmed by desire to claim a destiny that you had once given up?
That the giftings and talents you've been blessed with and those you have honed all rush to the surface of your dormant desire and bubble up bringing with it thoughts, prayers and what if's.

Loved.

Today I feel loved.

There are a lot of days here where I feel lonely.
Some days where I feel separate and isolated.
Feeling like I'm fumbling around with the lights off.
Knowing I'll find my mark, but still searching.

But today, today I feel loved.

My BIL and SIL David and Myriam picked me and the kids up today and then dropped me off at the subway station and then took the kids to their house. They subsequently kept the kids for me the rest of the day. Took them shopping and bought them new shoes, put them down for naps, played with them and then fed them dinner. They loved on my kids. They spoiled them. They did it so I could have a break. That made me feel loved.

A new friend of mine, Denisa, took her entire Saturday to just hang out with me.
She met me at the subway and took me to a hair salon where she sat and talked with me while I got my hair done. She didn't get hers done, she just sat with me and kept me company.
Then afterwards we took another subway downtown where we ate at a little sandwich shop and talked and laughed. Then we went shopping and of course got a waffle :-)

It made me feel loved.

Any time I checked on the kids inquiring if I needed to come back, my BIL or SIL made me feel good and said to enjoy myself. That made me feel loved.

My SIL Esther called to check up on me and make sure that I had made it on the Subway ok and offered to come get me if I was having trouble getting back. That made me feel loved.

Then after getting home and putting the kids to bed, I got an email which made both Jon and I tear up as it affirmed our calling here and also pledged monthly support. That made me feel loved.

I feel like a warm blanket was wrapped around me today. Like the world smiled at me and tipped its hat.

But most importantly, today was the first day that Brussels felt like home.

One Year

I am now the proud owner of a 1 year old.

My son Shiloh Na'vee Benjamin Vandeput turned 1 year old today, my how the days pass quickly.

His life has been marked so far with a big fat T for transition. Basically from the moment he was conceieved, life began to change and it hasn't stopped. The life he knows is so different from the life Lyric knew when she was 1 year old. But I love that! I love the change of life and Shiloh is going to be a more well rounded kid because of it.

He is an incredible little boy. He is full of joy which I'm sure you can tell by his pictures. Always smiling, "talking", laughing... he loves to fake laugh now.

Not saying he can't be a little toot at times. The boy has a strong will and does NOT like when he has to give up a toy or something. The scream/cry he puts out is quite deafening! He constantly wants to get into the trash and has now discovered the fun of a toilet in addition to the realization he has the power to open all cabinet doors. I'm constantly on my toes with a walking 1 year old in the house.

But I wouldn't trade it for anything. He is cuddly and gives kisses and raises his hands when you yell "Touchdown" He's started "barking" when you ask him what a chien (dog) says. It's adorable!
He has always and will continue to be a source of peace in my life.
I remember when he was younger and I was having a bad day, all I wanted to do was hold him. Just holding him would center me and make me relax. I remember one night Jon and I arguing over who got to hold him while he was sleeping because we both felt more at peace with him in our arms. I've said it a million times, but I know that is one of his major anointings. A peace bringer.

My little man.
Shiloh means resting place
Na'vee means prophet
Benjamin means son of the right hand

We chose his name because we believe that he will be a man that is inhabited by the presence of God and that he will be a prophetic voice for his generation. Also he carries both the names of his grandfathers (Benjamin and Vandeput) and we believe that this is also prophetic as he carries the mantels of both his grandfathers who are amazing men.

Before he was born I wrote this for him:

"Shiloh listen to the voice of your Beloved

Listen to the Love that will never fail you.

Learn to know his voice as He's singing over you.

And Shiloh, because you will listen.

At a young age, you'll be empowered with wisdom.

And the Lord will annoint you, to speak with Kings and the Nations.

And you will be known as a man who ¸can hear the voice of God.

And you will be known as a man whom the Lord calls friend."

I pray this over him all the time. I'm so excited that I get to raise this little guy. I know he is going to be an incredible man and I'm hoping he will always be a momma's boy!

So happy birthday to my favorite son Shiloh! We are having a small family party for him on Tuesday night which is nice because his Poppy from Israel will be here to celebrate with us.
I look forward to watching him grow in the next year. As he begins talking and discovering the world around him. It's exciting and I am so happy I get to love him.


So here is a slideshow of his 1st year (abbreviated as best I could)

I'm In Labor!

Or I was exactly one year ago today.

Crazy thinking about that.

I was so freaked out. I kept second guessing myself in between contractions, but the moment a new one would start, I just knew it was different. I was in labor.

I had never had contractions like this before (I was induced with Lyric so this was the first time I went into labor naturally).

It's 11pm my time here in Brussels, and at this moment a year ago I was sitting on the couch timing my contractions while Jonathan was snoozing in bed. He said he remembered waking up to hearing me moan in pain and knew we were going to have a baby.

Here is a blog post from earlier that day.

Its crazy thinking about how much time has passed. How much life has been lived. How our family became a family when Shiloh was born. How I really came into my own after he was born. How I really "owned" the term mom and fully embraced it without feeling that I was giving up who I was and wanted to be.

How quickly this:

Goes to this:

In a blink of an eye.

More about my baby boy tomorrow.

We Got Wheels!

We got wheels!

It's a Renault Espace Grand.

When we were deciding which vehicle to get, I felt we REALLY needed to get a car with 7 seats.

It just seemed silly to invest in anything less than that. With us wanting to expand our family and then any time we had friends or family in town, we would always have to have them rent a car if we wanted to travel around. That seemed so stupid.

We could have saved some money and gotten a cheaper regular car, but we wanted one that would give us the ability to host people since that is one of our goal's here.

So really super excited about it!

Another HUGE thing is that we now have independence! No more borrowing cars and having people inconvenienced because of us. However, I am SO grateful to my awesome family here for going above and beyond the last few months. Letting us borrow their cars and driving us around and really going out of their way to help. It's meant so much to us to have their support.

One of the things I REALLY like about this van is that each of the seats are bucket seats and you can turn them around, take them out, fold them down, etc. Here is one of the options that will be great for road trips:

Pretty fun huh?!

So I don't think I've ever been so excited about a car before. :-) I know it's just because I am excited about independence and getting to explore my new world.

It's a 2004 with only 46,000 miles on it, plus they are totally giving it a MAJOR tune-up and replacing all types of wear and tear engine things, putting 4 new tires on it and then giving us a one year warranty.

It's a great car for a GREAT deal, plus we got a really low interest rate and a 4 year note. With our payment and insurance it will still be 30 euros under what we had budgeted to spend per month.

Another fun thing is this is the first thing off my 2010 goals that I had made. So that makes me happy to check something off my list!

So on the same day we signed all the paperwork for the van, we also went to a HUGE car show in Brussels. It was fun seeing all the new cars and bikes, but really I had more fun just getting out the house. Jon didn't think I would want to go and offered to just take the kids, but I was like I'LL GO! I wanted to just get out of the house and walk around!
We ended up having a really fun time!

My little family:

Me on the only motorcycle I thought was cute. Jon thinks I'm hot :-)

There was an area with all these "youth" bikes and there were 4-wheelers and dirt bikes that fit her perfectly. She LOVED them!

We then went to Cora and Jonathan finally got his hair cut.

I had to figure out what size clothes Shiloh wears now because all of his 18 month clothes that I bought and the ones of Korbin's that I brought here are all getting too tight. That boy will NOT stop growing!

He wears an 86 now. Well actually 86 is a little big, but that's what he needs. Basically it's 24 month clothes.

His birthday is in 2 days and we're just asking for clothes instead of toys, since he's growing so fast. He's growing SO fast!

We did some grocery shopping and came home to cook quickly. We made homemade shwarmas and found this awesome hummus that is imported from Israel is is OH so yummy! I think it even made me come out of my food depression :-)

Then Jon had to skidaddle out to a prayer meeting and then I got dinner, cleaned up, kids bathed and relaxed a little and then Jon came home and we watched the season premiere of 24.

All in all it was an absolutely LOVELY day! (oh I forgot to mention that I got to sleep in because Jon took the kids to his mom's house while he was at the bank). I needed a good Monday like yesterday to give me strength to get through the week by myself. I do have an upcoming vising to look forward to though. My dad is visiting in 6 days! He is attending a Friends of Israel Conference here in Brussels. I'm SO happy about that! Yay!!

New van, 1 year old son, my dad visiting, what else will happen this month! :-)

Now to learn how to drive a stick shift.
Say a prayer. This may get ugly.

Food Depression

I am in a serious food depression.

I want to eat real yummy Tex-Mex that is professionally prepared.
I want classic On the Border. I want Uncle Julios. I want Chipotle. I want Taco Bueno.

I want all of these things and more and I don't want to make them myself.

Little Big Kids

My little big kids amaze me every day.

I mean, they are growing like weeds. Already they've grown so much and we've only been here for 2 months (2 months today  actually).

Lyric has almost entirely stopped using her pacifier. That in itself is a feat that I didn't think would be seen in my lifetime.
Now she is only having 1 at night (normally she would have an entire colony of paci's in her bed with her), none at nap time, none when we are out and about. ONLY at bed time. Like in her bed. Bed time only. Although I did catch her with two paci's the other night. I walked in there right after I had put her to bed and she apparantly had one stashed beside her bed. I turned on the light and did a clean sweep of her bedroom and she does NOT have any more hidden... that I know of :-)

2010 Forecast

Goals, goals, goals.
It's that time of year right?
The time where you start making goals for yourself, for your family, for life in general. Well I tend to make goals throughout the year, but the beginning of a year is a good time for a refresher and a sharpening of vision.

7 Days...

It's 7 days till Shiloh's 1 year birthday.
I'm so happy that he will be walking by his 1st birthday. He's just so dang adorable!
see:

And the Tribe Expands

Guess what?!

I'm about to have a new sister!!!!

My amazing brother Austin just asked his girlfriend of almost 2 years to marry him tonight!! Ms. Hannah Baker is about to be Mrs. Hannah Benjamin!!!!!

THE most Beautiful 6 Year Old!

Guess what today is??

It's Madysen Paige's 6th birthday.

Don't know who Madysen Paige is? Well she's just about the most beautiful young lady you have ever seen!

American Pancakes for 1 Person

So I've been craving pancakes and eggs lately, but haven't really been in the mood to sit there next to a frying pan and make them for the whole fam. SOOO today while the kids were down for a nap and I still hadn't eaten breakfast I decided, hmmm, I'm going to just make myself some pancakes.

So I did some experamenting and figured out the perfect portion size for pancakes and scrambled eggs for 1 person.


Ingredients:
1/2 Cup of Flour
2 teaspoon of sugar
1 teaspoon of baking powder
Dash of salt
2 teaspoon of egg
1/2 cup of milk

So mix all of that stuff together with a hand whisk.

The best way to do the 2 teaspoons of egg thing is to take 3 eggs in a bowl and scramble them up with a fork. Then take the teaspoon and dip out 2 teaspoons and put it in the bowl with the other ingredients. Set the rest of the eggs aside.

After all the ingredients are mixed up, pour half the batter into a well buttered frying pan on medium heat (make sure it is NOT on high or they will burn). Cook for a minute or 2, then when you see the edges begin to round, test out and see if you can get the spatula under the pancake without it sticking. If you can, then flip it to the other side for another minute or so.
Take off the pancake, set aside and then repeat with the rest of the batter.

This should make 2 regular size American     pancakes.

When the pancakes are made, pour in the mixed eggs right into the same pan you just made the pancakes in and let them cook.

And BOOM! There you go! A perfectly portioned meal for 1 person!

SUPER Moist Pumpkin Bread

So this is my sister's recipe of just about THE most yummy, moist pumpkin bread EVER! It's a staple of our holiday season and also a comfort food that she'll randomly make me when I need a pick me up.
It's DELICIOUS!




Ingredients

* 3 cups Sugar
* 3-⅓ cups Flour
* 2 teaspoons Baking Soda
* ½ Tablespoons Baking Powder
* 1-½ teaspoon Salt
* 1 teaspoon Nutmeg
* 1 teaspoon Ground Cloves
* 1 teaspoon Cinnamon
* 4 whole Eggs
* 1 can Pumpkin
* 1 cup Oil
* 1 cup Water
* 3 strips Aluminum Foil

Preparation Instructions:

Add wet ingredients (eggs, pumpkin, oil, water) to the dry ingredients all at once.

Mix well with a mixer till smooth and the delicious smell makes you start drooling slightly.

Grease 3 loaf pans (9×4) and pour equal amounts of the yummy batter into each pan.

Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes to an hour. You’ll know it’s ready when the top will start cracking and when you put a toothpick/knife in and it comes out clean.

Set out to cool for about 5 minutes.

Here’s the trick on keeping it SUPER moist.

After letting it cool for about 5 minutes, take out a roll of aluminum foil. Pull out a large piece and then turn over the pan to drop one of the loaves right smack in the middle. Quickly fold the foil over (taking care not to burn the crap out of your fingers) and secure very tightly. Then set aside and let it cool off while being wrapped in the foil. Repeat and do the same to the other 2 loaves.

I’m telling you. This is some good stuff. :-)

Mental Picture

I had to take a mental picture last night of my little family.

You know those moments that you hope you can remember forever? In full color, the sounds, the feelings, the emotions? I actually wish I had taken an actual picture as well, but I didn't want to leave to go and get the camera.

Walk On

Well my little almost 1 year old is starting to walk on his own. SO sweet!

He's starting to get in my favorite age. Like when they start walking and talking. I just love that! When I  come in his room in the morning the first thing he does is smile and say, "Mama". It melts my heart :-)

Put the Bottle Down!

So Shiloh will be 1 year old this month on the 21st.

Let's just think about that for a second.

I am an Immigrant

My how the tables have turned.

I spent months researching all the immigration options for my husband and then when we started the process, painstakingly filled out all the paperwork, gathered all the documents and prayed to God I didn't mess up.

I was expecting something similar here... but oh no. It's basically like just call around, have 3 people tell you 4 different things and then just go up to the office till you can speak to someone face to face and bring all your documents hoping you have everything you need.
I'm sure it doesn't have to be this confusing, but this has been my experience.

Am I EVER going to Church again?

Well... today... nope!

We literally haven't been to church in 4 Sundays! I'm starting to feel quite guilty about it.

So to justify myself, I will give you the following rundown:

Take THAT Paci Face!

So my daughter is pushing 3 and still obsessed with her pacifier.

It started immediately after birth. That little girl took that paci immediately and went to town. They became best friends and have been together every day since.

I had sworn that she would be done with it at 18 months. Um, ya. Obviously that didn't happen.



But then around 18 months, I decided that she could only have it at bed time. That took some battles, but it worked!